July 17, 2010

How'd you do on your SAT?

I didn't do great. Partly because I went out the night before and was on my way to the HFS-tival when I finished, but mostly because I don't do well on standardized tests. However, this question I would have nailed:

Terrifying is to heart surgery as annoying as hell is to _____________.

I don't even need multiple choices. It's CONSTIPATION! Did I mention that Maren is constipated? Like multiple adult-size doses of Miralax and two Fleet enemas haven't touched her- constipated. Yeah, that rock-o-poo inside her gut laughs at our attempts to dislodge it.

Ugh. The weird/good thing is that she is pooping. Apparently her new poop is very smart. Instead of getting stuck behind the aforementioned mound of crap inside of her, it politely squeezes by, making it's way out to Maren's diaper. I'm guessing this is what allows Maren to maintain her very busy schedule of eating 18 meals a day. I'm not kidding. I have never seen a kid eat so much. She'll eat until it's hard to breathe! Needless to say, we are very proud.

Maren, for the most part, is happy despite her constipation. She's smiling, laughing, talking, signing... she's pretty much normal Maren. Her heart is still in great shape. Her puffiness is gone. We've switched over to IV Lasix and she's peeing like a machine. Now we need her to maintain on PO Lasix and we can check that off on our list of issues. She's not walking yet and has shown zero interest in it. That is definitely not helping her situation in the poo department.

It sounds like the next plan is to give Maren doses of Miralax that you would be given to a very large man. After that, the subject of "colon cleansing" has come up. I asked and then wished I hadn't, so I'll leave that to your imagination or google if you're curious. Hopefully it won't come to that.

So, I hate to ask, but in all seriousness, please pray for Maren to poop. Although she's feeling well, it's hard to see her belly so swollen. Near the end of the day it's even shiney it's streched out so much. I think walking would be a good thing to pray for, too. Thank you.


Josh, Sandy, Jaclyn, and Kinsey said...

Oh poor Maren! My belly hurts for her! Glad to hear she's taking it all in stride. We will definitely be praying for poop, but specifically for the brick that has built up in her gut. That's not going to be a fun when it decides to pass. And we'll pray for walking too. Hope it won't be too much longer and you guys can go home to stay!

MaryBeth said...

Have they tried Laffy Taffy? I usually get the runs when I eat too many of those.

Jill said...

I remember when William had constipation the doctor suggested Mineral Oil. We mixed it with his orange juice and everything just slid out!
Just a thought, we're prayin' too :)

Maren Hansen said...

Choice picture. I'm just glad all her new poo is so obliging... So are you going to keep her poo once it comes out like my Grandma keeps her gallstone? ;) Go Maren!