What Henry Said...

Henry is hilarious. Sometimes he tries to be, but his truly shining moments happen when he has no idea just how funny he is. I've been collecting these for a while. Enjoy:

The Tigers miraculously made it to the post season last fall to compete for a chance to play in the World Series. It was a pretty big deal for Michiganders. They must have been talking about it at school because Henry came home and asked, "Mom, do you want the Tigers to beat the Hankies?" (That would be the Yankees.)

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One Sunday we were sitting in Sacrament Meeting. I leaned over to Henry and asked, "Are you hungry? I can't stop thinking about stew." (I threw a some stuff in the crock pot earlier that morning.) Henry replied, "I can't stop thinking about when this is going to be over."

Touche, Henry. Touche.

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I don't remember the context of this one, but for whatever reason I said, "I'd much rather be a mom than have the priesthood."

Henry asked, "Why? So you can laze around all day?"

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I guess one day the baby was moving all around inside of me. I said, "Man, this baby is super excited about something!"

Henry says with little to no emotion, "It's probably me."

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Me: "What if the baby is ugly?

Henry: "What? Maren was ugly when she was born and then she got cute."

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One night while the kids were getting ready for bed, Henry noticed me checking out my teeth in the mirror. He asked, "What are you looking at?"

I answered, "My yellow teeth."

Henry says, "They're not yellow..."

I'm not going to lie-- I was a little flattered when I interrupted him and said, "Thanks, Henry!"

Then Henry finished his thought: "...they're green."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?!" I yelled.

Henry, trying to smooth things over, came back with, "They're only a little green."

Not that I needed to be any more self-conscious about my teeth :(

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We were at McDonald's one day and Henry grabbed Maren's water and took a sip. He smacked his lips and said, "McDonald's water is so good. It tastes like chicken nuggets." I should mention that Maren only eats chicken nuggets from McDonald's and she is the queen of backwash.

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Dinner this this past Christmas was a disaster. I tried to cook a ham in the crock pot and it did not turn out. Actually, it was disgusting-- like inedible disgusting. Probably worse than the taste was the smell. Can you say, "butt?" Anyway, so I was pretty annoyed/sad/angry/grossed out by the whole thing and everybody new it. Sweet, sweet Henry, trying to make me feel better said, "It's okay mom. It smelled good for a minute when I was far away." I didn't feel better.

When that didn't work he tried, "Sometimes food that smells really bad tastes really good." Somehow, that didn't quite do it either.

For the record, Cottage Inn Pizza is open on Christmas Day.

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"I wish my name was Superman."