(This picture is not my kid, but very cute) I've gone back and forth the last couple of days trying to decide if I wanted to record this experience or not. I finally decided to go for it-- as disgusting as it is. I can imagine stumbling upon this entry 10 years down the road and reading it to Henry and him denying the whole thing.
So, I've experienced some pretty nasty stuff over the 5+ years that I've been a mom, but I can honestly say that this was probably the nastiest-- at least up there in the top 3.
The other night Randy was on the computer and I was in the bedroom watching a show-- Biggest Loser if I remember correctly. Henry walked in, very much asleep, making a bee line for the toilet. This actually happens quite often-- Henry peeing in the middle of the night while half asleep. There was a difference this time, however. I hear, amidst Henry's intermittent stream of pee hitting the water in the toilet and pee hitting the floor, a big nasty fart. Farts have always been amusing to me so naturally I turned my head to look and snicker, but what I saw slapped the smile right off of my face.
(This is where it gets nasty and I apologize, but this is for my posterity, not yours.) Henry was seemingly oblivious to the fact that he had just crapped himself while standing at the toilet. I yelled from the bed, "Henry, what the freak!" That brought him back into the world of the awake and his reply was, "Mommy, I think I pooped." YA THINK?!
Now, Henry is 5 years old, but he really is closer to the size of a small man than a 5-year-old boy. This crap reflected his great size. How people work in nursing homes, I do not know. I can barely stand to clean up my kid's "man" crap let alone some old decrepit stranger's. And while we're on the topic, how do people use cloth diapers? Yeah, I threw away Henry's underwear, his sweatpants, and was tempted to buy new rugs for the bathroom which were victim to a little splatter.
Everyone survived. I threw Henry in the shower while I cleaned the bathroom. Randy has a weak stomach when it comes to other people's poo-- even his own children's. I was impressed that he offered to take the plastic sack with the soiled goodies to the trash. I was even more impressed when he didn't throw up.
What we learned-- all sleep walkers, male and female, in the Robinson home must sit down while they pee in the middle of the night.